A few Christmas' ago, my husband and I found ourselves hungry following the Christmas Eve Candlelight service at church. Now not many restaurants are open that time of night, especially on a holiday, but we didn't have a whole lot to eat at home. After a bit of searching, we found a kind of greasy spoon diner that was open. We had never eaten there before and when we went through the door, we knew why. We have non-smoking restaurants now. But back in the day, this was what you called a "smoking" restaurant. You could tell by the nicotine smell that pervaded the carpets and the faint yellow tinge of the white walls. As we sat, my husband looked over the menu, I looked over the crowd.
Really wasn't much of a crowd. A couple or two, but mostly single older men. Probably ate a lot of their meals there. It made me kind of sad to see those folks. Heck, it made me sad to be sitting there. Kind of like being a lot of pitiful folks with nowhere to go on Christmas Eve. We, personally, had a houseful of folks coming over Christmas Day, so for us this was the quiet before the storm. But it looked like for these folks, this was their big holiday dinner.
A few booths over, there was a rough looking man who I noticed to be dressed up, in a rugged way. On his table was a small, hand wrapped present. We shared the same waitress, and from eavesdropping on their conversations (you know you do it), I could tell this man was one of her regulars. They talked about their grown kids and what they would be doing on Christmas Day. It seemed neither had family visiting that Christmas. Both had suffered some hardships and ill health earlier in the year. Toward the end of our meal, I saw him shyly offer the gift to the woman and her hard face light up like a little child. She wanted to take it home to put under her small tree, to save for Christmas Day, but he asked her to open it up. She did and it was a bottle of inexpensive cologne. Evidently that was her "signature" fragrance and she thanked him, giving him a peck on the cheek. He just beamed and in my heart of hearts, I knew that was the most important, if not the only, gift he would give that year.
A few booths over, there was a rough looking man who I noticed to be dressed up, in a rugged way. On his table was a small, hand wrapped present. We shared the same waitress, and from eavesdropping on their conversations (you know you do it), I could tell this man was one of her regulars. They talked about their grown kids and what they would be doing on Christmas Day. It seemed neither had family visiting that Christmas. Both had suffered some hardships and ill health earlier in the year. Toward the end of our meal, I saw him shyly offer the gift to the woman and her hard face light up like a little child. She wanted to take it home to put under her small tree, to save for Christmas Day, but he asked her to open it up. She did and it was a bottle of inexpensive cologne. Evidently that was her "signature" fragrance and she thanked him, giving him a peck on the cheek. He just beamed and in my heart of hearts, I knew that was the most important, if not the only, gift he would give that year.
I suddenly felt like an intruder at an intimate family gathering. As I looked back at this group of mismatched folks, I realized they were a family and we were the strangers. I felt ashamed of my critical spirit and my blatant dismissal of these folks earlier in the evening. I had judged them and assessed them a little "below" my husband and I when we first walked through the door. Now I felt like I was sitting at their feet.
I looked at the fifty dollar bill my husband had pulled out to pay the tab for a couple of sandwiches. Our waitress was back in the kitchen, so I asked him to leave it all. He looked at me like I had lost my head. Not because of the small extravagance of the act; he has always been more generous than I. But perplexed by the fact that I had suggested it. It was so out of my character. I embarrassed him for years, bringing along my calculator so I could figure a 12% tip. Scotch-Irish to the bone! We slipped out before she returned.
Later that night, laying in bed, we couldn't sleep. We thought about what our waitress may have thought when she got the larger than expected tip. We did not feel proud of ourselves. We felt humble and a little ashamed that we had so much and rare were the occasions that we thought to share a little extra like that.
I don't write this to brag, but to give an example of a "keep the change" mentality. Offering time and help to someone that could never in a million years reciprocate. Calling that elderly relative that can complain "til the cows come home", just because of the joy you give in listening to medical ailments for 2 hours! LOL! Knowing you don't need them, you are about to pass up the table of little girls selling their Girl Scout cookies. But stopping, buying several boxes, and then handing them back to the little Brownie, telling her to enjoy. The joy in seeing her eyes grow big as saucers, jumping up and down, excited to tell her fellow scout friends. Those are the kind of "grace-full" acts you will remember and the recipient will never forget.
Leave the change and change lives.....yours included!
Later that night, laying in bed, we couldn't sleep. We thought about what our waitress may have thought when she got the larger than expected tip. We did not feel proud of ourselves. We felt humble and a little ashamed that we had so much and rare were the occasions that we thought to share a little extra like that.
I don't write this to brag, but to give an example of a "keep the change" mentality. Offering time and help to someone that could never in a million years reciprocate. Calling that elderly relative that can complain "til the cows come home", just because of the joy you give in listening to medical ailments for 2 hours! LOL! Knowing you don't need them, you are about to pass up the table of little girls selling their Girl Scout cookies. But stopping, buying several boxes, and then handing them back to the little Brownie, telling her to enjoy. The joy in seeing her eyes grow big as saucers, jumping up and down, excited to tell her fellow scout friends. Those are the kind of "grace-full" acts you will remember and the recipient will never forget.
Leave the change and change lives.....yours included!
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