Confession - Ugh

I do not like the word confession. It ranks right up there with the word sin. It is so us and so bad and so black and so evil.

Confessions are tear-laden sobs of misdeeds and conduct. Penitent hearts crossed, that ne'er will evil thought or action cross this feeble mind. But are they?

Where is it written confession is always of a negative origin. There are ardent confessions of love. There is confession of a secret, luscious, life-changing secret. These are not bad. Why, on the contrary, they are extremely good.

So if confession is part of my relationship with my Father, and I accept that fact, why do I limit it to this litany of do's and don't's. The monolithic drone of sins of ommission and commission. The hangman's gallows I build stick by stick by my guilt. Or as adding tender to the righteous fire of His anger.

What if confession is none other than the murmuring between best friends. The whisper of hope and anticipation for things too good to be true. The tearful sorrow at a friend lost for a time or forever. The hesitant, heart-felt confession of wrong done and wrong to be forgiven. The things truly soul friends can hear and say without one smidgen of fear that they will not be accepted, even enfolded for their utterance.

I like that better

More of the Same

Had a good discussion with a clergy friend of mine. Discussed my questions about the questions my pastor raised. She too is fearful for the church but not in my spooky "dark will overtake light" scenario. Her fear is that the church will exist but become totally irrelevant. She said her comments do not come from someone on the outside throwing rocks, but from within.

Very interesting, because my fundamental/charismatic/conservative/evangelical journey in life to this point sees relevancy in a totally different way. Irrelevant is not having a contemporary worship service with a band. It is a children's ministry that does not have techno-aided object lessons. Or maybe no flat screen TV screens on the sanctuary walls.

What is relevancy and how can we know if we are, if we never address the tough issues out there? Or if we do, we are like a child with his fingers in his ears, repeating over and over, "I'm not listening" As I sat through that sermon yesterday, I realized I have not come as far as I thought. Some of the questions asked, made me uncomfortable. Subconsciously, because my pastor asked them, I assigned her to a specific side. Good grief - it was just a question. She never committed to either side. She expressed the views of both. What harm comes from just asking why?

When a child asks a question, we don't automatically mark them with a number and assign them to a group. No, we understand that they are inquisitive, seeking to understand. Why as Christians, can we not let each other ask why? How can I say undeniably a theological thought is so, when 5 years ago, I totally disagreed with my present view. Was I wrong 5 years ago? Will what I am saying or standing up for right now, be untrue 5 years hence? Is the problem, not in what I am thinking but in taking the stand. Taking the stand that only I and those I choose to identify with know the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

What If?

Heard a very thought provoking sermon from my home church pulpit. It was about the wisemen and the star and the light coming into the world. Usual Epiphany spiel but with a bit of a spin.

The premise was, is the church of today a part of the darkness, much like the church in times past. Times when it opposed such ideas as the abolition of slavery, when it opposed the idea that the sun was the center of the universe. I am sure you could write a book (and they have) of all the terrible things done in the name of God - Spanish Inquisition and Holy Wars thrown in for good measure. The correlation in the sermon was concerning the cutting edge technology and social acceptances of today. Stem cell research, homosexuality, ordination of women. Those things that the stricter mainline denominations stand firmly against.

I understand where both sides are coming from. I was once one of them and am now one of the others. I would have been on the committee to run our pastor out on a rail for the dribble she was preaching. But today, I am different. I am not as quick to judge and hopefully quicker to love.

But where is the line drawn? Is there even a line? In the Old Testament, King Josiah ordered the renovation of the temple, and while it was being cleaned out, a book was found. It was the Book Of Law and this was shown to the King. He sat down and read it and was so overcome with remorse and shame, he went into mourning. I am talking the full gamut - sackcloth and ashes. That story has always had a profound effect on me. How could the Noah ark riding, Joseph in charge of Egypt, Moses Red Sea parting, David killing Goliath Book of Law be totally forgotten? Were there no Bible stories passed down. No namesakes for the mighty warriors like Deborah and Joshua. How did it happen? Like walking into a ghost town and wondering what the people were like that used to live there. Even more, what happened to them.

How do we love, not judge, be light - all that good stuff and not be mindful of the darkness. Can't the light be just as dangerous if it is not handled with care. Fire can provide warmth. cook food. and light the way. But the very same can also destroy 1000's of acres, burn down homes, and even kill people.

Is the key, perhaps, in realizing we are not the Source of the light. We are only the bearers. We must trust and be true to His light and be careful not to manufacture or generate our own. Heavy responsibility or Heavenly responsibility?

A Psalm for the New Year

O, my Father, open
My eyes to your beauty
My ears to your wisdom
My mouth to your praises
My heart to your mercy
My hands to your service
May I never close
my eyes to the hurting
My ears to their cries
My mouth to their defense
My heart to their anguish
My hands to their healing

Jo