Letting Go or Letting In

Grace..

That elusive, indescribable something. A gift, unmerited favor - no matter what you call it, everyone has a different perception of what it is. The ordinary blessings (whatever that means) in life - breath, light, food, shelter. Or maybe forgiveness - not asked for or even expected. Maybe the answers to prayer - when what we pray for coincides with what happens to us.

The parable of the Prodigal Son is one of my favorites. It is one of those scriptures that grows with you. In each stage of living, I have seen it from each character's perspective. As the child, I saw the generosity of the parent. As an obedient adult, I took the older brother's side. As a doting grandparent, I have seen the Father's view.

But today as I read it once more, it dawned on me the grace may not have been in the receiving of the wayward son home, but in the letting him go. In giving him what he asked for, knowing full well the trouble he would buy, the pain he would suffer, the humiliation and deprivation that might come. But doing it anyway. Not sure if he would ever return, much less escape unscathed - emotionally, spiritually, or even physically.

My generation, in parenting, put our children at the center of our lives. As such, we have created self-centered children. Tough love is a tough lesson many of us do not want to learn. But learning it, some of us are. Loving enough to let go, to cut off, to kick out. And it is the hardest thing we have ever done. But it is one of the greatest acts of love we may ever perform.

Is it in living, not in the favors, but the hurdles that are the blessings? The times He does not rescue me, but allows me to tread water. Even sink? Unmerited favor could very well be unwanted favor as well. The favor unwanted, because I do not look deeper than the surface. To see the Jewel shimmering just below the surface.

Wow, how much of my life becomes "on". Not waiting for the next encounter or next answer to prayer or the next retreat or the next stirring message. But every moment of the day - living, inhaling, exhaling the Living Lord. A God who lets me go and receives me home. Because that is the only way I will find Him.

Ahhhhh.....that is Grace

Just Deserts or Desserts

I have a friend who recently came home to our group from an extended absence. The absence in itself was not one of his own choosing but a form of incarceration/rehab. I was anxious about his return. There were so many emotions that had been slipped under the carpet, just ready to raise their ugly heads. But the return was full of humility and repentance; no one and nothing was prepared for it. Lavish welcome, chastisement, anger, joy - all sentiments in whatever form or fashion, paled in comparison to the deep-seated humility shared. Now, I am sure there will be many that will be unhappy that there should be more consequences to this act of betrayal/desertion. Feelings that this friend should get his just deserts. But what are " just deserts". I always thought it was spelled "desserts" as in sweet treat after dinner. But it is spelled deserts in the plural, meaning "that which one deserves". Interesting. Because when it is the other guy, we are more than satisfied when they receive their comeuppance. However when it is me, I want grace, not justice. Sometimes the spelling, "desserts" is used, as a play on words. I like it better. Just and dessert are oxymorons. Dessert is the whip cream on the top of the sundae. Dessert is the best you could hope for, times 10. Dessert is something you don't deserve. I think maybe my idea of just desserts and God's are not the same. Would the sinful learn more from consequences? A resounding YES, we might say without thinking. Or do they learn more from grace. HMMM? What do you think?