I am facilitating a class on Christian doctrine. Pretty cool. I have come a long way from where I was the first time I taught it. In fact a really long way.
A lady in my class is exactly where I used to be. Passionate, black and white, good and bad, them and we. I almost envy her. So set in her theology, so sure of herself. It was a comfortable place to be. You were solidly set, your theological seatbelt and ready to roll. You hit a few potholes. though. Some folks alwasys seemed to ask questions that made you uncomfortable. Funny thing is, they were asking the same questions you were thinking but had been afraid to ask. These folks were also people you admired. They lived a life that was full of joy and peace. Confidence was a mainstay in their faith. They were content with the unknown, the mystery, the pieces of the puzzle that didn't fit. And then one day, you got it. You understood and you could not believe it had been there, just waiting for you to find it.
And now I am sitting in a class, looking and listening to "myself". five years ago. The same words, beliefs, and statements. I feel rather uneasy for her. Almost embarrassed. You have all these things you would tell her, to share the grace that is just waiting for her. But you know the words will not be accepted. And since she does not know you, she will probably label you some religious liberal who spouts off a lot of nonsense and stands for nothing. So you will wait. Just like all the folks that listened to you and shook their heads and prayed for you along that graceless road you traveled. And guess what - it worked!
Okay. I'm going to stop slathering comments all over your blog in a minute, but this one grabbed me.
ReplyDeleteI have just finished commenting on someone's blog who I don't know (here if you want to read it: http://godthepossible.blogspot.com/2008/04/off-center-danger-of-centering-prayer.html). I don't know if you know anything about centering prayer, but this person was criticisng it as being something demonic, and they were coming up with a whole lot of biblical reasons to prove their point. And there was a lot of criticising of "Eastern religions" (what, Christianity is not one of those?) and of the evils of emptying your mind so Satan will come in and of repeating mantras being the same thing as the repetitive babbling spoken against in the Bible.
And I really do understand why he sees it this way. Because this practice comes out of the Catholic mystical tradition and you know, it's not like we are all going to understand each other or even agree with each other. There's too much room for differences to not rub up against each other and cause friction.
But why does everything we do not understand therefore have to be demonic? I mean, I am much more comfortable with the Buddhist/Christian thing than many. There is so much wisdom in Buddhism whether this man wants it to be cut and dried or not. And I don't see Satan under every stone. So this is where we differ. And could I be deceived about centering prayer? Well, sure, because I guess part of deception is that you think you're on the right track but you're not. You think you're in the bright shiny way but it turns out it wasn't.
But the difficult thing is that so much of Christianity thinks it's in the bright shiny way and it's really just fundamnetalism and everyone knows except the fundamentalists. But I also don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater. I don't want to box things up into "good" or "bad" because so often I don't know. But I also don't want to box fundamentalists up as people who don't have a clue about anything just because it would suit me to think so because nothing is black and white, not even that.
But I wish I would stop trying to have conversations with people who see what I believe as evil. Because by their very view of you, anything you say will just be more fuel for them to consider you are deceived, you know?
Sue
ReplyDeleteYou are not slathering. As you can see, there is not much foot traffic here. I know exactly how you feel.
I have been through all the theological stages - fundamentalism, charismatic, evangelical, and now I don't know what this stage is called. I don't like universal or liberal. I am more "in" to my faith than I have ever been before, but from my former bully pulpits, I have the formerly labeled "any thing goes" philosophy. How wrong I was. It is so much harder to step outside the lines than to sit there and be a line judge.
I may be repeating myself - I do that alot - but the website "World Scripture" was my undoing. I was looking up a scripture for a lesson I was teaching and found the same thought in every different faith. I wanted to sit down on the floor and cry. Not because I was sad they had it, but that I along with most of my mainline denominational compadres had built our houses upon that and now I found it was sand! Where did I start. Grieve and moan the lost years and passion or pick up and start anew. It took awhile, but I started reviewing and re-reading scripture that I had thought was the bedrock upon which I stood. And it still fit. It fit before, God love it (literally), but it also fit now. I began to think. It has to fit or we could not grow with it. The scripture never changes but we do. I am seeing so much more than I ever did before.
Was I wrong before, I don't think so. I think people have to think there are demons under every rock so they will look. And in looking, they find they are not there after all. I think the greatest disservice any religion can do is not allow its follower to seek out other faiths and see what they believe or teach. Was I placed, by no action on my part, into the "only" faith or is all mankind placed on a path that leads to Him. We just have to start walking?
Please, please don't stop having conversations with people who see what you believe as evil. If they never get rubbed, they will never scratch. And if they never scratch, they will not question. About centering prayer. It is phenomenal.
I am an avid fan of the desert father, St. John of the Cross, especially. Julian of Norwich was an incredible woman of grace who liked in the 1300's (?). She was professing the extrordinary love and grace of God when folks were self-flagellating and promoting physical suffering as the road to God.
Phenomenal.
Thanks again for your comments.