Christ in Me

Why do we feel as a church, as Christ, that people have to come to us, rather than us going to them? If Jesus had ministered only to those that came to synagogue, he would have had a very tumultuous and an assuredly much shorter ministry. Christ came to me - when I was a fundamentalist, an evangelical, a charismatic, a moderate, and even now in my more liberal theology. He was always the heart of my desire. Funny, but I felt he looked and acted totally different in each stage of my spiritual life. But you know what. He did not change. I cannot go back and tell you at any time, that he revealed any part of him that was not in line with his character. He was to me what I needed each step of the way. But he was always Christ. I just see so clearly now that my need of him was more important than my theologically correct perception of him. And he knew it and he allowed it. He did not compromise who he was in anyway. And as I grew, I learned how to love him each step of the way. And what I saw was what I wanted. I wanted to draw closer and in drawing closer, I was transformed. I hope for the better.

Providence (and not Rhode Island)

Weird word - providence. Kind of antiquated in a sense, but it speaks volumes. I can't really put my finger on it. Heck it's not my finger that needs to wrap around it. It's my mind. When I was a child, there was a song I remember singing,

Be not dismayed, whate'r betide,
God will take care of you
Beneath His wings of love abide,
God will take care of you

God will take care of you
Through everyday
O'er all the way
He will take care of you
God will take care of you

Being a neurotic, anxious, worry-ridden kid, this song was one I repeated or sang on many an occasion. He would make everything better. All bad things would turn into good. God would spin straw into gold. He would take care of everything.

But as I grew older, things happened to me and my loved ones, that were in no way good. And I have to be honest, it was sometimes very hard to see the outline of His hand in those bad things. The events literally rocked and split my world apart.

But as I re-read the stanzas of this hymn today, I realized it was not "them" - circumstances, trials, tragedies - that He promises to take care of. It was me. He does not promise to make "it" better. He promises to care for me through the struggles and in the chaos I travel. My only job is to believe that and live like I do. Not always easy, but how fine it is when I can.

God's Economy

The teachings of the Bible can come across pretty harsh. The Old Testament especially. A lot of killing people, beheading, stoning, etc. Even the sayings of Christ sometimes didn't match the man he was. I think sometimes, we take the statements at face value. The statement's face, not the man who made it.

One is "Judge not lest you be judged" As a child growing up in my homogenous Christian world, I could almost see God behind a huge mahogany podium, black robes, wire rim glasses perched on his nose, looking down on me, gavel in hand, ready to pronounce my sentence. All because I was critical about a friend. It was a simple cause and effect, sin and punishment kind of thing to me.

Lately, I have questioned that. I think it may mean, if you judge other folks, 99% of the time, you are saying the same critical things to yourself. It is a habit. You can't cut someone else down without nicking yourself. I hate doing it and I try my best not to, but it is a hard habit to break. But what a difference it is making in my life. The less I criticize others, the less I criticize myself. It seems I was the judge in black robes. Not God. I am sure it doesn't make him shout for joy, but He is pretty much pointing out one of the economic realities of kingdom living. My cause and my effect. Hmmm - wonder what else I can find.

Grounded

The scripture for my Sunday School lesson today was from Mark 10:35-45. It is the story of James and John asking Jesus for the favor of sitting at his right and his left. It is so easy to chalk them off as greedy, glory grabbers.

But as I worked through the scripture preparing, it made me wonder just how Jesus dealt with his own humanity. It says that he was tempted but did not sin. How did He do that. He could not have been immune because that was not how He or God operated. If he came to earth, he came with all the foibles, weaknesses, and humanness in that mortal frame. The only difference between Him and the everyday Joe or Jo was His divinity. So often, I read the scripture "He went off alone up into the mountains" and thought of it only in the context of needing time apart to be with God. To refresh, rejuvenate, etc. But perhaps, He needed time apart from the temptation of fame, notoriety, and power. That fame, not sought but thrust upon Him by the throngs of miracle seekers and well-wishers. The demands of those seeking Him, his disciples included.

Perhaps when He said "The Father and I are one" it was not so much a statement of identity as one of repetition, a reminder of his human make-up. That he was a human-like vessel for the divinity of God. The power was God's, He was his incarnation.

Perhaps Satan knew exactly what he was doing when he tempted Christ in the desert. Power and fame were a pretty powerful drug even to the Son of God. How hard was it to keep the perspective, when throngs followed you constantly, wanting a word from you, a touch from you, even from the hem of your garment. How very hard for Him and how very hard for Him to explain to those who he would leave behind.

As Christians, the very thing within us of any worth is the very thing that can create a trap to snare us. How do we resist? If our blessed Savior was tempted, how can we possibly not be taken down. Perhaps by remembering we are a vessel. That any good within us is not of "us". That we have two choices. One to be a conduit of His mercy and love to those we come in contact with. To do this, all we have to do is remain open, that His love might flow through us. Our other option is to allow the inherent arrogance and pride squeeze and constrict the flow of Him in me.

How do I combat this? Each and every day saying, not only thy will be done, but adding thy will be done through me. Praise God I can say that and Praise God that He hears and answers my plea

Looking in a Mirror

I am facilitating a class on Christian doctrine. Pretty cool. I have come a long way from where I was the first time I taught it. In fact a really long way.

A lady in my class is exactly where I used to be. Passionate, black and white, good and bad, them and we. I almost envy her. So set in her theology, so sure of herself. It was a comfortable place to be. You were solidly set, your theological seatbelt and ready to roll. You hit a few potholes. though. Some folks alwasys seemed to ask questions that made you uncomfortable. Funny thing is, they were asking the same questions you were thinking but had been afraid to ask. These folks were also people you admired. They lived a life that was full of joy and peace. Confidence was a mainstay in their faith. They were content with the unknown, the mystery, the pieces of the puzzle that didn't fit. And then one day, you got it. You understood and you could not believe it had been there, just waiting for you to find it.

And now I am sitting in a class, looking and listening to "myself". five years ago. The same words, beliefs, and statements. I feel rather uneasy for her. Almost embarrassed. You have all these things you would tell her, to share the grace that is just waiting for her. But you know the words will not be accepted. And since she does not know you, she will probably label you some religious liberal who spouts off a lot of nonsense and stands for nothing. So you will wait. Just like all the folks that listened to you and shook their heads and prayed for you along that graceless road you traveled. And guess what - it worked!