Years ago there was a sitcom called "Cheers". Very popular and well-known.
It was about a bar and the group of regulars that met there. Their lives played out on the barstools of this basement tavern. Rarely did any scene venture outside of this single room. Funny and poignant - one of my favorites. The theme song is one I can almost sing from memory, with the lyrics describing it as a place "where everybody knows your name"
This past week I reconnected with a young woman I had not seen in some time. She was in a small group I was facilitating at church. In asking about her family, I found out her small son had been treated for a malignant tumor and was in the midst of a long series of chemo that had followed a hard regimen of radiation. I was totally taken back at the news and overwhelmed by the pain and suffering of not only the small child but the mom as well.
In the midst of our group discussion, a question was asked - I don't even remember what it was. The young woman started talking about an odd sleep habit she had and proceeded to tell a long, humorous, and somewhat disturbing story about an incident she had one night. As a discussion leader, I could tell this was traveling way off course and, usually, I would start trying to reel her back in. But there was a look in her eyes that made me stop myself. For a few brief minutes, the limelight was on her and she was the center of attention. It was for just a little while, totally about her, something that rarely happened anymore. This was about a physical quirk she had, not a serious malady her child had suffered. It was totally indulgent and totally meaningless in the larger than life realm of life she lived day by day. But she was there in that zone and I just let her go with it. We laughed, we asked questions, we commiserated with her -about her. Many in the group did not know her total story and in that anonymity there wsa comfort. In that small span of attention, she was the unattached center.
It truly was a place where "nobody knew her pain". It was good and just what the doctor ordered.
"Irreverence in the face of pain"--I like to think it's a gift. But maybe that is because I am the person in my circle "most likely to make the wise-ass quip at the funeral" (which almost always makes everyone burst out laughing in their tears, I might add.)
ReplyDeleteI would actually consider that to be a "healing moment" for her. What a powerful way to be in support of her as an individual not just as a mother of an ill child. Sometimes those meaningless moments are actually more powerful that we suppose. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteAmelia
www.onemindevotional.blogspot.com
Sounds like you should do the same thing with everyone in your group. The point of groups like that is for everyone to know each other...right?
ReplyDeleteAmelia, how true. That was a healing moment for her. Thank God I saw it. It was a blessing for me as well because I knew the situation. I think everyone else missed it and I have not shared it with any of them because words would not do it justice. I don't think they would get it.
ReplyDeletePage, you are right. But how do you get to the point where as a "leader" or "facilitator" you forget about the temporal (numbers, discussion, receptiveness) and just place yourself in the moment. Let God have free rein and just sit back and watch Him move. I am better but still have a long way to go.
Thank you both for your comments