Sounds of Scarlet

Someone attempting to describe the color scarlet to a person born blind declared, “It‟s like the sound of a trumpet"

I came across this comment by Phillip Yancey in the preface of a book he wrote with Paul Brand, "Fearfully & Wonderfully Made". It hit me like nothing has in a long, long time. How do you describe anything visual to a person blind from birth. But with a sound, or a touch, or a taste. I see scarlet not as a vibrant, piercing sound of the trumpet, but more like the slow deep voice of a cello as the bow is drawn across the strings. What would I pick for touch? I am thinking a deep aching pain. And for taste, I can only think of a tart bing cherry.

As I pondered this question, I found I was stumped. In fact, I was frustrated that someone would describe scarlet as a trumpet sound. As I have explained, I think otherwise. Then it dawned on me, isn't that what we do with religion. We see the writings of those who long ago experienced and loved God in the best way they could at the time. They were limited by their culture, knowlege, and history. But when I read their words, I see them trying to tell me who He was. It was not wrong or right, it was their experience. In my time, I am doing the same thing. I am trying to figure Him out and trying to speak Him in my words, my life, my faith. It too is limited by this age I live in and this place I find myself.

So where do I or any other Christian come off telling anyone they are wrong!! It's ludicrous. I am blind and can't see it. I am deaf, and don't know it. I can only and should only tell someone else what I feel and what I know. That really is something, isn't it!

Two Wolves

A Cherokee Legend

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.

"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." He continued, "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Probably heard this at some time, but never thought about it. If you were raised as a kid in the 50's and attended church, you had a pretty good idea of what was right and what was not. But that is not exactly true. You had a pretty good idea of what moral society said was right and what was not. I loved it.

You got on the bus on Monday morning and every kid there had been to church the day before. You never did anything on Sunday because nothing was open that day. You did get to play outside but that was usually because your mother wanted a nap.

But you see I was a kid, and pretty much didn't bother with anything out of my scope of self. I did not know that Mrs. Jones was a secret alcoholic. Or Mr. Lester the scoutmaster was a little too friendly with the boys. Or Widow Barnes had a few too many late night callers. Out of sight more or less made it only slightly out of right. It's a new day. Our sins are much the same, just more out in the open. And society has deemed them less embarrassing.

So why did reading this simple story seem like a slap in the face? I literally had not even thought about having these two wolves, but I do. Most of my life I did most the right things and refrained from doing most of the bad things, so was this battle one I guess I felt I had won? The greater light bulb going off in my mind is that it is I can literally not win. No matter how good I try to be. As long as I am human and live on this planet Earth, the war wages.

True, prayerful confession is not merely tatteling on the bad wolf as much as it is encouraging the good one. How critical is it that I feed the good one with what I take in - whether it be visual, auditory, emotional, or sensual. The bad one is there and it too will demand to be fed, because as much as I wish he did not live in me, he does. On good days, he just gets table scraps, but there are occasions when he gets the choicest cuts of meat.

And I haven't had a pet in almost 30 years! Well, I guess I need to get some books on wolf behavior. Woops, there I go again!

Be

Our church is doing an on-line book study/discussion. Has been very interesting. Doing the book, Everything Belongs by Richard Rohr. In the book, he mentions a scripture he uses in contemplative prayer. I used the scripture this week and had the most interesting time with the phrase. His migration is as follows:

Be still and know that I am God
Be still and know that I am
Be still and know
Be still
Be

It was funny, but after a day or so of this, I could not leave "Be" alone. I had to add....

Be Me

Now, being more like God is not a bad objective, but it again points to my inability to leave something well enough alone. I must be "doing" something. I have a hard time just being.

This morning as I prayed the scripture, after I finished (with my new ending) it was as if God added his own couplet...

Let Me be
Be

I know a father longs for a child to grow up in His image, to follow in His footsteps. I have for most of my life tried to either please, worship, follow, fear, imitate, contain, blame, love, or "something" Him . Thank God (literally) I have survived through the process I have concocted.

In the recent years, I have fervently worked to remove the boundaries and limits I had set around Him through childhood concreteness, teenage adulation, adult pre-determination, and mid-life consternation. I have opened the divine gates and allowed Him to roam freely in my life, my intellect, and my soul.

But, lately, He has really started meddling. Not merely satisfied with my new and improved outlook of Him,He wants me to address the limits I have placed on myself as well. All those things that I had pretty well tamed or felt at least corralled, insecurities, feelings of inferiority, pride, need to please, guilt, bitterness, hate, pity, etc., are in a good place. Now I feel Him asking me to open those gates and disburse those fairly civilized demons. As overwhelming as it was to start the journey to the real "Him", this seems near to impossible. Where do I start. I find I have an entire set of armor to work my way through and then I only reach the layers of outerwear. And He has pretty much set down the law. No deals. He will settle for no less than vulnerability. I cannot exchange my gas mask for a lighter allergy one. He wants me naked. This is probably the scariest thing I have ever faced.

But as I think of this, maybe there will be one more line to my scriptural progression.

We will Be

Salty Enough For You

Our minister quoted some disturbing statistics on Sunday. He said the percentage of folks today believing in God, stating they are Christians, believing Jesus is the Son of God, etc. were in the high 80's. Higher than in some of the more "God-fearing" decades like the 50's, etc. Now that gave me pause for thought. He suggested maybe we are having more influence on the world than we know. My immediate thought was "I doubt that". But as I thought about it, I said "Hmmmmm...."

I think "we" have changed. I don't look like the Christian I was 25 years ago. I used to be straight and narrow, drawing the line between me and you. I am not the same person. I hope now a line exists, it is drawing us together, not separating us. But I still claim the same name as I did back then - Christian.

Second, has the idea of God changed? Does He no longer scare us with a whiff of sufphur. Is He more accepting and open? And if so what does that mean anyway?

Maybe it is our idea of salt. Does our saltiness not play out in a dividing line we call the church, with good guys on one side and bad guys on the other. I hate to tell you, but I don't think Christians play a big role in society as a whole. It will swing like a pendulum between the two extremes - let it all hang out or keep in all tucked in. It always has, it always will. Jesus was salty but His life and His ministry did not have a great impact on the Roman government at the time. He was a nuisance, they had to deal with in the end, but their empire was not affected by Him. Before you get a bee in your bonnet, I said Him. His physical 3 year ministry. But His life is another story. Leaven, salt, light. These are things that cannot be hidden, toned down, or hid. And the ripple of His life is affecting us today.

Salt is not something we can hoard or sprinkle on whom we please. It is what we are and if we truly do our condiment best, our immediate world cannot remain tasteless.

Running on Empty

You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule. Matthew 5:3

End of your rope.

Only two things you can do at this point. Climb up or let go. If you find yourself at the end, it is probably because you have slipped down. So your ability and/or energy to change your situation is more than likely depleted. If you let go and drop, no telling where you'll land. The best scenario is that someone pulls you up. And you hope that Someone is God.

I wasted alot of time trying to make life clean enough for God. I didn't want Him to live there, just drop by for a visit. Maybe an extended stay if times got tough. I did not need him on a regular basis. Just when I got close to the end of that rope.

More of God, less of me. Funny, but that has been my by-word, my prayer for a long time. In reading this scripture,though, I realize I have been going at this bassackwards. Beating myself up, being critical and self deprecating. These are not the ways to reduce the me in me.

What if I infuse more of Him in me. If there is more of Him, there is automatically less room for me. I have been acting on the opposite premise for most of my life. I have been lessening me, when I need to grow Him. Hmmmm.....interesting.....

The problem is, I have to get out of this crisis mode. It has to be an everyday relationship. I need Him to move in - become my roommate. I am tired of this crisis kind of love relationship we have been living in. Time for a change

Humility. That is the other word I have been grappling with. A state of humility. Not groveling and crawling but just a frank and honest estimation of how we stand. He is God - I am not. Can't get any clearer than that. And if that is the case...what am I doing hanging around on a rope in the first place!

Resolution or Resignation

I used to live for New Years.

Being a Type A personality, I would make a detailed list of all the things I would accomplish in the next year. I went through a phase,in which I focused on life areas. Physical, intellectual, recreational, spiritual, etc. I would set goals and daily/weekly/ and monthly chart my growth. Looking back, I am sure I developed some good habits, but in essence that was what they were. Habits. Ways in which I had trained myself to do what I had chosen to accomplish. When achieved or tackled, I would give myself a mental high five and look toward the next obstacle to defeat.

As the years passed, I began to realize there was only one person pleased with me. Me. Sure there were things I pledged to do that have added to my life enormously. Taking out time for family, studying the Bible, teaching, honing my vocational skills. But the success or reward was hollow for some reason.

As time went on, I mellowed and life's lessons taught me far much more than I cared to learn. The all important New Year's Resolutions were forgotten and I started trusting God for more and me for less. It was not a thunderbolt type of thing. Just that the more I pursued Him, studied His word - the less of me I found within. In the last years, I have found that less of me is not enough. I want more of Him.

A few months back, God and I had a talk and I told Him I would like to follow in the footsteps of my spiritual forefather, Solomon. Let me rephrase that. Not his footsteps, but in his request. I asked God for wisdom. I wanted to grow older AND wiser. In the beginning I could see myself years from now, rocking on the front porch,friends and family stopping by, just to talk to me. To ask me for a pearl of wisdom or a tidbit of knowlege. I was not so much worried about one day being lonely, but irrelevant. That scared me.

So I prayed and I waited. When things did not seem to change, I mentally drew on some ideas I had about wise people and figured emulation might be the road to success. Of course it quickly became just another thing on my To Do List and I quickly realized wisdom was not something I was going to hone. So I more or less left the request in my petitions, but did not actively pursue it.

That was the key - I did not do anything but ask. That was when it happened. Gradually, I could see things from a different perspective. I had never thought I had tunnel vision, but my scope was definitely becoming alot broader. It was not me or you, this or that. I could see the whole and how my part fit into it.

I dealt with folks in a different way. I found mentally, I was isolated. There were folks above me and below me. Not in regards to economics, race, sex, or education. Just that there were some folks that intimidated me and I subconsciously cowered and tried to please them or be like them. The folks "below" me were folks that were outside of my radar. My thinking just did not include them. They could be invisible for the care, concern, and/or compassion I gave them. I took them for granted.

Now with my burgeoning wisdom, I saw folks as they were. Up there folk were not all THAT. They were human just like me and I even began seeing the cracks in their facade. They did not drop "below" me, they just joined me on my playing field. What about the below folks, you may ask. I just began to notice them. That was the first step. This is an ongoing processe. I can see care working its way in there and I pray, literally, that care will ultimately lead to acts of compassion. Wow!

The important things in my life went through a fruit basket turn over. The things I thought the sun rose and set on, did not command that same place. I worried at first that I had a no care attitude, but it was not that. I just was not going to turn into stone if something did or did not happen. Another biggie for me.

Finally, I am way more peaceful. That is what is scaring me a little now. I began to trace the road of my life and found that the numerous trials and tribulations I have experienced have made me and the journey far better. So what I am going through now is not as scary or oppressive. I am too busy looking for the good stuff. I have to admit this is going to take alot of getting used to.

The New Year? I think on this day, the last day of 2010, it is a toss up between a a grateful heart or a gracious attitude. Since the root word of both is "grace" I am thinking I might get two for one. What do you think?

Little Child, My Child

Little Child


Little child, my child, what do you see?
I see a star shining high above me
The face of a woman, tired yet elated
Our destiny’s joined, already fated
Head bowed, the man burden weary
Eyes fixed on mine, gentle and teary

Little child, my child, what do you hear?
Rhythm of animals as they draw near
The woman cooing, humming a song
Even the breeze begs to sing along
A chorus of doves, the lullaby complete
Good news! Heaven and earth finally meet

Little child, my child, what do you know?
Father, I know how you love Me so
Carefully placed in a world so unsure
Your Light enters by this baby so pure
A gift of grace, wrapped in my being
Some will not believe, even seeing

Little child, my child, who do you love
All of your children, My Father above
These earthly parents, of course on the list
But my love is so much greater than this
For people I’ll reach and heal as I go
Love to spare for those not yet born to know

Little child, my child, I do love them so
I sent You because I want them to know


Merry Christmas
Jo