Why is it the closer we draw to God, the further we want to draw away from the world. I think this is why we have those folks that cloister themselves into a life of spiritual purity and ascetism. Denying all the world has to offer – good and bad.
Others choose a life of piety. But in doing so, they cannot resist viewing the world from this new perch. With growing disdain and condemnation, they are free with their advice and condemnation.
But, unlike Christ, we are not fully human and fully divine. We have this 50/50 arrangement. As a Christian, I have Christ dwelling within. I think, in my own mind, I have seen it as a struggle. As if I had to beat the human part of me into submission to Him. Or maybe, I pictured myself as living in a house with Him.
I want to see myself as moving out of the master bedroom, taking the smaller bedroom. My dream one day to move to the broom closet, giving Christ full reign of my life. But now, I see, that is not what He desires.
As much as I would love to wrap myself in scripture, meditation and immerse myself in Him, He knows that my address is still terra firma. He moved in to live with me, the human me. He wants to share my life. He wants to have lively discussions of His Word. He wants to view the sunsets and sunrises. He wants to struggle with the stress and strain. He wants to revel in the world He and His Father so carefully fashioned as my residence. He wants to be my roommate. Lord of my life, yes, but also the Love of my life. Maybe until I can love the “me” in me as much as He does, can I truly know how to live in and love in this co-ed arrangement.
It is a balance I am looking for. Child that I am, I want to teeter totter with Christ. He does not want to sit alone, nor I. There is no fun in that. It is only when we both get on, taking turns, that we can soar. And that is where the joy comes.
For until I love me, can I love you. Until I see me through His eyes, can I see you through mine.
Wow!
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