Joyful Shame

The gospel lesson from the lectionary this week was again from Luke. A woman, possessed by a spirit, was healed by Christ as He taught in a local synagogue. The main symptom of the possession was the fact that for 18 years she had been unable to straighten up. Now from the sound of it, a modern diagnosis would possibly be congenital scoliosis, probably complicated with osteoporosis or malnutrition. A condition worsened by the labor intensive day to day routines in that time period. Jesus calls her to come to Him and He heals her. Subsequently, a leader of a crowd in the synagogue, chastises Jesus for healing on the Sabbath.

I think today, the indictment would be more or less phrased, "Geez Jesus! You have six other days to do that kind of thing. Why pick today and interrupt the service?" It would be like today, a minister extending the invitation at the end of worship. A weeping, wailing, hard core biker, responds to the call, coming forward to confess his sins and give his life to Christ. You say to yourself, "Great - this is going to take awhile" And all of us have been there. You check your watch, stomach growling, imagining the line at the local restaurant growing longer and longer.

This is an incredible miracle by Jesus. I can only imagine the impact this miracle had on the woman physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Of course Jesus' response to the church leader did not pull any punches. The usual hypocrite speech. But instead of the leader and crowd walking off angry, plotting future revenge, they respond in a different way.

The scripture says that everyone that opposing Him, felt bad about it. Is that incredible or what? The folks that had been mumbling about the rude interruption one minute, now remorseful for feeling that way. Every one of them! Consensus is hard to achieve even in a pleasant situation, but rarely achieved when it comes to shame. Then to top it off, the entire group was really happy Jesus was going around doing miraculous healings

This hit home with me because God has been teaching me a lot like this lately. Been seeing a lot of stuff in the third person. Kind of an "out of body experience". Now before you freak out, I am speaking theoretically. It is as if I can see myself from someone else's point of view. And I hate to admit it - the picture is not always pretty. In fact, I sometimes can identify with the shame the crowd felt that day in the synagogue.

But my fatal flaw is that I am not progressing to that "feel good" part easily. I tend to wallow in the shame too long. Instead of saying "Thank you God" for the new course coordinates and making my necessary adjustments, I tend to sit there blaming, shaming, and basically paralyzed by the guilt. What a waste! Of time, energy, and days of what I could be doing for Him, in Him, and with Him. Kind of like old Job when he sat there with pottery shards, scraping his sores, bemoaning his bad luck.

So my prayer is to be quicker on the rebound. To see the blessing in being able to see yourself through His eyes. Grace-filled, constructive criticism. To appreciate my good fortune in that I only received a divine attitude adjustment. And realizing that if I don't get over it, a heavenly kick in the pants might be a little harder next time to pick myself up from . LOL!