The Eyes Have It

Of all the features on the face, I think the eyes are the most expressive. They are the gatekeepers of the light and windows on the world. They can express fear, tears, and cheers in a way that is remarkable for minimally moving parts of the body. Side to side, up and down. Basic motions necessary for our vision, but they are indicators of so much more.

In Proverbs, eyes are mentioned at the top of the list of abominations. Haughty eyes that is. Haughty is a word we don't hear anymore. Prideful, snobbish, arrogant are all words that come to mind, but I think haughty is the best one to use in describing eyes. When I hear the word haughty, I can see the eyes peering straight down the nose at someone or something with half lidded look of detest for effect. I have looks like that called chilling or belittling. As if the look in itself can put the other person in "their place". That "place" being where the haughty person chooses to place them in "their" scheme of things.

And in the same breath, the eyes can totally take you out of your place. A friend of mine was going through treatment for breast cancer. She was being treated at a world renown cancer treatment center. As I accompanied her through the halls the hospital, there were so many people with masks. During chemo, at times your immune system is weak and you are very vulnerable to infections. So folks wear masks to ward off communicable viruses, colds, etc. Being at the start of her treatment, it was a sad reminder of what might be facing her in the near future.

Everyone avoided looking at the folks in the masks and subsequently the masked folks avoided making eye contact. I am sure, when they first started wearing them, they tried but all they saw was pity and pain, especially from those they loved. That was the last thing they wanted to see, so they just avoided it altogether. That really made me sad, so I just started smiling at them. Of greeting them and noticing that they were there, even saying "Hi".

It was amazing to see them smile. No - I did not see the upturned mouths or brightness of their teeth, but I could see it in the eyes. The crinkled skin at the corners, the light that emanated from the eyes themselves. It became a game for my friend and I. A wonderful relief from the sadness and pain that surrounded us all. That there was truly a life not only after cancer but in the very midst of it. That you could smile again. And again. And again.

Joyful Shame

The gospel lesson from the lectionary this week was again from Luke. A woman, possessed by a spirit, was healed by Christ as He taught in a local synagogue. The main symptom of the possession was the fact that for 18 years she had been unable to straighten up. Now from the sound of it, a modern diagnosis would possibly be congenital scoliosis, probably complicated with osteoporosis or malnutrition. A condition worsened by the labor intensive day to day routines in that time period. Jesus calls her to come to Him and He heals her. Subsequently, a leader of a crowd in the synagogue, chastises Jesus for healing on the Sabbath.

I think today, the indictment would be more or less phrased, "Geez Jesus! You have six other days to do that kind of thing. Why pick today and interrupt the service?" It would be like today, a minister extending the invitation at the end of worship. A weeping, wailing, hard core biker, responds to the call, coming forward to confess his sins and give his life to Christ. You say to yourself, "Great - this is going to take awhile" And all of us have been there. You check your watch, stomach growling, imagining the line at the local restaurant growing longer and longer.

This is an incredible miracle by Jesus. I can only imagine the impact this miracle had on the woman physically, spiritually, and emotionally. Of course Jesus' response to the church leader did not pull any punches. The usual hypocrite speech. But instead of the leader and crowd walking off angry, plotting future revenge, they respond in a different way.

The scripture says that everyone that opposing Him, felt bad about it. Is that incredible or what? The folks that had been mumbling about the rude interruption one minute, now remorseful for feeling that way. Every one of them! Consensus is hard to achieve even in a pleasant situation, but rarely achieved when it comes to shame. Then to top it off, the entire group was really happy Jesus was going around doing miraculous healings

This hit home with me because God has been teaching me a lot like this lately. Been seeing a lot of stuff in the third person. Kind of an "out of body experience". Now before you freak out, I am speaking theoretically. It is as if I can see myself from someone else's point of view. And I hate to admit it - the picture is not always pretty. In fact, I sometimes can identify with the shame the crowd felt that day in the synagogue.

But my fatal flaw is that I am not progressing to that "feel good" part easily. I tend to wallow in the shame too long. Instead of saying "Thank you God" for the new course coordinates and making my necessary adjustments, I tend to sit there blaming, shaming, and basically paralyzed by the guilt. What a waste! Of time, energy, and days of what I could be doing for Him, in Him, and with Him. Kind of like old Job when he sat there with pottery shards, scraping his sores, bemoaning his bad luck.

So my prayer is to be quicker on the rebound. To see the blessing in being able to see yourself through His eyes. Grace-filled, constructive criticism. To appreciate my good fortune in that I only received a divine attitude adjustment. And realizing that if I don't get over it, a heavenly kick in the pants might be a little harder next time to pick myself up from . LOL!

Earning the Kingdom

Jesus was the master of shock and awe. In the Gospel lesson from Luke for this Sunday, he talks about a master coming home from a wedding feast and finding his servants diligent, waiting up for him. With the lights on, no less. The master is excited to see them, so he sits them down and serves them a late night snack. To the first century hearers, that would be the shock and awe.

I think we lose a lot reading the scriptures and living in the 21st century. Masters and slaves still exist but only from our easy chair, seen from our wide-screen HD TV. I wonder if we truly "get" the scriptures regarding service and servitude. None of us serve because we have to. We do it for a paycheck, a pat on the back, or in response to a need. More or less, we have a choice.

In the United States, there are some that have lost their freedom. Inmates in prison are not free but most of them were, at some point, free to make the decisions that landed them there. Servants, in Jesus day, were the property of their masters and were more slaves than employees. They were obligated to take care of the needs of their master and, in turn, the master provided them room and board.

I think because the parables do quite often use the roles of servant and master, we get a slightly skewed perception. So I ask this question. Do we get joy out of serving or is there a motive behind it. Are we looking to gain Brownie points in the Divine Game? Maybe we feel service is a payback for His grace or a proverbial jewel in our crown. Maybe a foot up on that ladder rung to heaven?

How are we transformed in this service to God and others? Does just "doing it" make us eventually not only want to, but ultimately change us to do it for the right reason? Or should we sit back and wait until we feel like it, for the Spirit to move us?

Looking back, I can definitely see for me it came in stages. Being a people-pleaser most of my life, I started out more or less trying to please God. Surprisingly I found there was an added bonus. I pleased lots of people that way. Who-hoo! Then life overwhelmed me, pulling me away from serving others to serving my husband during a long illness. It lasted a year and coming out of it, I realized I did not want to return to my former life. I saw what I had been, had done, and most of all why I did it. I realized I was not that person anymore.

So I did nothing. Oh, there were a few things I returned to - teaching my weekly Sunday School class, singing in the choir - but nothing major. I was not where I wanted to be, but was too sapped to think about anything else.

Now, I am in a different place. I decided to make myself available. Not to my church or other organizations, but to God. I have to admit I was a little disappointed when He did not use me right away. Kept waiting for the nudge or feeling. That little "ah-ha" I have felt in the past. Kind of like a person waiting for that phone call - the one saying they have the job.

But slowly, I realized if I was truly different, then I might not hear Him in the same old way. In fact, there were changes already taking place. I was seeing and responding in the ordinary. Without even noticing it. Seeing needs or places where I could "be" not necessarily "do". Feeling gratitude to the lady that cleans my office building and expressing it. Hearing the emotion in a person's voice and listening, instead of stepping over it to express my next brilliant remark.

I like this spot, it feels like a groove. No not a groove, because that is a "place". Maybe I am no longer a location but a moving target. I think I am living for short time periods in the "kingdom zone". It is not a destination, not even a journey. I can't describe it and you know what? I think that may be the way it is meant to be.