First, Jacob starts out naming God by His name. Second, he reminds God of His promise. In other words, "I am just doing what You told me to do". Then Jacob's soul literally gets on its knees and lays out the unabashed truth. Just how undeserving he really is. Next he goes into gratitude for all he has been blessed with. He starts with remembering his meager beginnings and speaks of an awareness of how much he has now in comparison, thanks be to God. Then he states his request,what he needs from God. Lays it all out on the line. After this Jacob prostrates himself on the proverbial ground and says "I am afraid" He names the fear - his brother Esau - and I can imagine the anxiety is heightened because he more or less deserves what he is about to receive.
Then he he throws in the mothers and children, which many readers see as a bargaining tool or manipulation. Good old Jacob - back to his old tricks! Perhaps, but maybe it was one of the first times Jacob saw beyond himself.
And then the grand finale. God, you take away my children, and where does that leave your Promise. The nation to be fashioned through and by You. You ordained it would go from Abraham, through my dad Isaac and then through me, flawed and undeserving as I am. What happens to that if I die this day? What happens if my kids go with me?
That to me is amazing. I think we jump right over this prayer in our rush to get to the wrestling match Jacob had with the Angel (Lord), and we disregard this passage. His words, to me, prove that Jacob had already wrestled with himself and "cried Uncle". He was no match for Esau physically. Esau was coming with an army of 400 men. Jacob definitely could not stand on his stellar character. But in this prayer, he becomes the man God wants - no needs, him to be.
For folks that have made a mess of their lives, it is difficult to come up against a wall of your bad decisions, missed opportunities, and just plain screw-ups. For those folks who have tried their best, more or less, they come against their walls, as well. Talk about disheartening. But the key in both cases is to name the wall and admit your inability to scale it.
How very hard is that to do, especially for the good guys. Decisions with the best of intentions, circumstances totally out of your control, life sucking events - all make up the mortar and stone of that wall. It is so easy to sit at the base of the wall and just give up and have a pity party of one. But there is a way over that wall and it is a really fairly simple. Name it (the wall) and claim it (your weakness) and rely on Him.
In this case, Jacob slept. No better advice can be given to any of us. Wait on the Lord and He will provide not only the wisdom but the means to deal with the situation. In this case, Jacob drew from the resources God had provided him. He took his blessings and offered them to Essau. Only in praying did Jacob put himself in a place where he could not only see his illness but the remedy thereof.
In my life right now, I am being faced with what seems insurmountable obstacles. Most, not of my doing. A few born of my apathy and/or neglect. And then of course a few bad decisions scattered in for good measure.
I have only one thing to say. Thanks be to God, His help is not based on my worthiness.
