Two Wolves

A Cherokee Legend

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.

"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." He continued, "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Probably heard this at some time, but never thought about it. If you were raised as a kid in the 50's and attended church, you had a pretty good idea of what was right and what was not. But that is not exactly true. You had a pretty good idea of what moral society said was right and what was not. I loved it.

You got on the bus on Monday morning and every kid there had been to church the day before. You never did anything on Sunday because nothing was open that day. You did get to play outside but that was usually because your mother wanted a nap.

But you see I was a kid, and pretty much didn't bother with anything out of my scope of self. I did not know that Mrs. Jones was a secret alcoholic. Or Mr. Lester the scoutmaster was a little too friendly with the boys. Or Widow Barnes had a few too many late night callers. Out of sight more or less made it only slightly out of right. It's a new day. Our sins are much the same, just more out in the open. And society has deemed them less embarrassing.

So why did reading this simple story seem like a slap in the face? I literally had not even thought about having these two wolves, but I do. Most of my life I did most the right things and refrained from doing most of the bad things, so was this battle one I guess I felt I had won? The greater light bulb going off in my mind is that it is I can literally not win. No matter how good I try to be. As long as I am human and live on this planet Earth, the war wages.

True, prayerful confession is not merely tatteling on the bad wolf as much as it is encouraging the good one. How critical is it that I feed the good one with what I take in - whether it be visual, auditory, emotional, or sensual. The bad one is there and it too will demand to be fed, because as much as I wish he did not live in me, he does. On good days, he just gets table scraps, but there are occasions when he gets the choicest cuts of meat.

And I haven't had a pet in almost 30 years! Well, I guess I need to get some books on wolf behavior. Woops, there I go again!

Be

Our church is doing an on-line book study/discussion. Has been very interesting. Doing the book, Everything Belongs by Richard Rohr. In the book, he mentions a scripture he uses in contemplative prayer. I used the scripture this week and had the most interesting time with the phrase. His migration is as follows:

Be still and know that I am God
Be still and know that I am
Be still and know
Be still
Be

It was funny, but after a day or so of this, I could not leave "Be" alone. I had to add....

Be Me

Now, being more like God is not a bad objective, but it again points to my inability to leave something well enough alone. I must be "doing" something. I have a hard time just being.

This morning as I prayed the scripture, after I finished (with my new ending) it was as if God added his own couplet...

Let Me be
Be

I know a father longs for a child to grow up in His image, to follow in His footsteps. I have for most of my life tried to either please, worship, follow, fear, imitate, contain, blame, love, or "something" Him . Thank God (literally) I have survived through the process I have concocted.

In the recent years, I have fervently worked to remove the boundaries and limits I had set around Him through childhood concreteness, teenage adulation, adult pre-determination, and mid-life consternation. I have opened the divine gates and allowed Him to roam freely in my life, my intellect, and my soul.

But, lately, He has really started meddling. Not merely satisfied with my new and improved outlook of Him,He wants me to address the limits I have placed on myself as well. All those things that I had pretty well tamed or felt at least corralled, insecurities, feelings of inferiority, pride, need to please, guilt, bitterness, hate, pity, etc., are in a good place. Now I feel Him asking me to open those gates and disburse those fairly civilized demons. As overwhelming as it was to start the journey to the real "Him", this seems near to impossible. Where do I start. I find I have an entire set of armor to work my way through and then I only reach the layers of outerwear. And He has pretty much set down the law. No deals. He will settle for no less than vulnerability. I cannot exchange my gas mask for a lighter allergy one. He wants me naked. This is probably the scariest thing I have ever faced.

But as I think of this, maybe there will be one more line to my scriptural progression.

We will Be

Salty Enough For You

Our minister quoted some disturbing statistics on Sunday. He said the percentage of folks today believing in God, stating they are Christians, believing Jesus is the Son of God, etc. were in the high 80's. Higher than in some of the more "God-fearing" decades like the 50's, etc. Now that gave me pause for thought. He suggested maybe we are having more influence on the world than we know. My immediate thought was "I doubt that". But as I thought about it, I said "Hmmmmm...."

I think "we" have changed. I don't look like the Christian I was 25 years ago. I used to be straight and narrow, drawing the line between me and you. I am not the same person. I hope now a line exists, it is drawing us together, not separating us. But I still claim the same name as I did back then - Christian.

Second, has the idea of God changed? Does He no longer scare us with a whiff of sufphur. Is He more accepting and open? And if so what does that mean anyway?

Maybe it is our idea of salt. Does our saltiness not play out in a dividing line we call the church, with good guys on one side and bad guys on the other. I hate to tell you, but I don't think Christians play a big role in society as a whole. It will swing like a pendulum between the two extremes - let it all hang out or keep in all tucked in. It always has, it always will. Jesus was salty but His life and His ministry did not have a great impact on the Roman government at the time. He was a nuisance, they had to deal with in the end, but their empire was not affected by Him. Before you get a bee in your bonnet, I said Him. His physical 3 year ministry. But His life is another story. Leaven, salt, light. These are things that cannot be hidden, toned down, or hid. And the ripple of His life is affecting us today.

Salt is not something we can hoard or sprinkle on whom we please. It is what we are and if we truly do our condiment best, our immediate world cannot remain tasteless.