The Next Thing

Tough Times

This is the first Christmas that I have really felt the pinch of hard times. I have been in them before, but I guess my youth and exuberance shielded me from the entire blow. Not so this year.

In saying that, this is one of the most blessed Christmas' I have ever experienced. I think I am getting the hang of focusing on "The Next Thing".

I love to play games. Crossword, solitaire, puzzles, sudoku - you name it, I love it. Computers and the internet have opened a myriad of opportunities and to those of us who have a little OCD to contend with, it is either a blessing or a curse.
Free cell solitaire is one of my addictions.

I woke up this AM in a funk. All the serious and possible ramifications of our present financial situation came down in full force on my sleepy and vulnerable mind. I pulled up a hand of free cell to engage my scattered thoughts. In this state of mind, I could not focus on the next cards available for play. My thoughts and sight followed up each row and I saw all the possibilities of future moves, etc. At the same time, however, I saw all the improbabilities. This did not improve my state of mind.

I realized that my favorite verses in Philippians 4 were twofold. In times of stress and turmoil, we must allow God to guard us from worry and things that might pull us down, interfering with our ability to see His hand and present guidance. However, in other times, we must ask for an equal share of wisdom, not to switch gear and lean on our own understanding. We must live in the moment. It is not a cop out, as sometimes I fear, but the only way I can live in His Light.

If I look up the row of days ahead and start estimating all the dire possibilities, I will get myself in a pickle. But if I make my best decision, with God's help, in the present day, the present hour, the present minute, I can leave the rest to Him.

Why? For the simple reason He knows what lies ahead.

I do not.

Providence (and not Rhode Island)

Weird word - providence. Kind of antiquated in a sense, but it speaks volumes. I can't really put my finger on it. Heck it's not my finger that needs to wrap around it. It's my mind. When I was a child, there was a song I remember singing,

Be not dismayed, whate'r betide,
God will take care of you
Beneath His wings of love abide,
God will take care of you

God will take care of you
Through everyday
O'er all the way
He will take care of you
God will take care of you

Being a neurotic, anxious, worry-ridden kid, this song was one I repeated or sang on many an occasion. He would make everything better. All bad things would turn into good. God would spin straw into gold. He would take care of everything.

But as I grew older, things happened to me and my loved ones, that were in no way good. And I have to be honest, it was sometimes very hard to see the outline of His hand in those bad things. The events literally rocked and split my world apart.

But as I re-read the stanzas of this hymn today, I realized it was not "them" - circumstances, trials, tragedies - that He promises to take care of. It was me. He does not promise to make "it" better. He promises to care for me through the struggles and in the chaos I travel. My only job is to believe that and live like I do. Not always easy, but how fine it is when I can.