Looking in a Mirror

I am facilitating a class on Christian doctrine. Pretty cool. I have come a long way from where I was the first time I taught it. In fact a really long way.

A lady in my class is exactly where I used to be. Passionate, black and white, good and bad, them and we. I almost envy her. So set in her theology, so sure of herself. It was a comfortable place to be. You were solidly set, your theological seatbelt and ready to roll. You hit a few potholes. though. Some folks alwasys seemed to ask questions that made you uncomfortable. Funny thing is, they were asking the same questions you were thinking but had been afraid to ask. These folks were also people you admired. They lived a life that was full of joy and peace. Confidence was a mainstay in their faith. They were content with the unknown, the mystery, the pieces of the puzzle that didn't fit. And then one day, you got it. You understood and you could not believe it had been there, just waiting for you to find it.

And now I am sitting in a class, looking and listening to "myself". five years ago. The same words, beliefs, and statements. I feel rather uneasy for her. Almost embarrassed. You have all these things you would tell her, to share the grace that is just waiting for her. But you know the words will not be accepted. And since she does not know you, she will probably label you some religious liberal who spouts off a lot of nonsense and stands for nothing. So you will wait. Just like all the folks that listened to you and shook their heads and prayed for you along that graceless road you traveled. And guess what - it worked!

Going Green

I grew up in the 60's. OK, right off the blog, I am telling my age. I guess a lot of people look back at their childhood through rose-colored glasses. But I willing don those shades.   The days of my growing up were really good times. We had lots of sunshine and fresh air and we were out in it, every chance we got. We took off in the morning and only headed home for meals or scrapes on our knees. Fireflies in the evening, butterflies during the day. The indoors could never compete with what the great outdoors had to offer.

For the past decades, there has been a big emphasis conserving and ecology. I hate to admit it, but I was not one to go willingly into this green night. It wasn't that I wanted to be a spendthrift or spoiler of nature, but I just didn't like the idea of being legislated into doing it. In my life, I have found confrontation usually results in a battle, whether justified or not, and this was a classic case in point. I was hell bent not to recycle, acting like a spoiled child in a tantrum.

I think my theology has more or less evolved in a similar pattern. I am almost unrecognizable in the spiritual snapshots of yesteryear. Along my path to God, several good friends have, for awhile, shared the journey with me. I have to admit, I felt a few definitely had a screw loose, but over the years my admiration of them outweighed my disdain for their convictions. I guess it was because I could see in their lives the tangible fruit of the Spirit. I began to question why their lives produced this joy, while the fundamentalism I was following created rules and regulations that kept me bound and gagged. so to speak.   Well not exactly gagged, because I liked to spout my intolerance on a regular basis.  However, as Life knocked me me around a bit, I began to see things from a different perspective.  What I thought was fool-proof theology, had a few holes in it and I was sinking fast.   I began to realize where they came from and where they were headed. I hoped to tag along.

Well, I am happy to report, I am going green. Not because I am supposed to or because some conservationist is going to make me, but in spite of them. I just have to look at my children and grandchildren to find my reason. I want there to be flies in their ointment - of the fire and butter variety.