Daddy,
I had such a good day at school
I did my work and tried not to talk
When my teacher was speaking
It was so very hard Daddy,
But I just thought of you
And it helped me to be good
Dad,
College is really rough
The courses are so hard
The temptations are too great
I know how very much you
Have invested in me
So I will try to keep
On the straight and narrow
Remember me in your prayers
Father
Remember when I told you
I could not wait to grow up
I was wrong, I could have waited
A family, a mortgage, a job
It seems too much to bear
But I have always been careful
To listen to your advice
So that is really what I am
Depending on right now,
That and our conversations.
Thanks for being the kind of father
I could always look up to
And never afraid to talk to
Daddy,
It is just you and me now
I won’t be bringing anyone
Else along on this trip
It has been a rough road
At times, but a good one
I have not always made the
Best choices, but you have
Stuck by me and loved me
No matter what I did
I am anxious to see you
It’s been a long time
God, I am ready when you are.
Jo
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Sunday, July 15, 2012
A Snapshot
A snapshot
A snapshot of a man. You do not see what was before or what will come. A man who would be king meets the men who would be his subjects. He places himself before them. All that he is, that he has done, and the promise of what he will be. They accept him based on three things they know.
The book is 2 Samuel 5:5. The man is David, the subjects are the tribes of Israel. They accept him because he is kin, a son of the tribe of Judah. Second, they know he is what they need. He is a military man, with a score of successes to his credit. But most of all God has said he will be their shepherd, their ruler. Divine appointment.
What brought the man to this point? What made the man a king? Was it being a shepherd as a small boy? Was it killing a giant as a youth? Was it being selected by Samuel to be the next king? Was it playing a harp for the moody King Saul? His friendship with Jonathan? The hiding and fighting for his very life? All of the above?
What would take him from here? What would contribute to his rise as King? What would make him the husband or father he would become? What would make him the adulterer, the liar, the murderer he would be? If they had known what the future held, would they have entered the covenant agreement with him? We will never know because they would not have known.
What makes up a man? This week there has been a lot of information about men in the football world that took the accolades they had been given by the public and used them in the direct or indirect abuse of young children. The same thing that brought the attention to their achievements brought the platform that gave them license for the destruction of innocence.
What makes the difference? Is a man his actions or is it his heart? David was a man of good actions and bad actions. Which do we remember him for? His adultery with Bathsheba was sensational but so what his killing of Goliath.
For me it is his psalms. For me they show the heart of the man. Not only his heart for God, but the heart he showed God. As trite as it sounds, he bared his soul. And we have the evidence in print. In blood, in tears, in anger, in passion, in truth.
That is the man I choose to remember…the snapshot I choose to keep….
A snapshot of a man. You do not see what was before or what will come. A man who would be king meets the men who would be his subjects. He places himself before them. All that he is, that he has done, and the promise of what he will be. They accept him based on three things they know.
The book is 2 Samuel 5:5. The man is David, the subjects are the tribes of Israel. They accept him because he is kin, a son of the tribe of Judah. Second, they know he is what they need. He is a military man, with a score of successes to his credit. But most of all God has said he will be their shepherd, their ruler. Divine appointment.
What brought the man to this point? What made the man a king? Was it being a shepherd as a small boy? Was it killing a giant as a youth? Was it being selected by Samuel to be the next king? Was it playing a harp for the moody King Saul? His friendship with Jonathan? The hiding and fighting for his very life? All of the above?
What would take him from here? What would contribute to his rise as King? What would make him the husband or father he would become? What would make him the adulterer, the liar, the murderer he would be? If they had known what the future held, would they have entered the covenant agreement with him? We will never know because they would not have known.
What makes up a man? This week there has been a lot of information about men in the football world that took the accolades they had been given by the public and used them in the direct or indirect abuse of young children. The same thing that brought the attention to their achievements brought the platform that gave them license for the destruction of innocence.
What makes the difference? Is a man his actions or is it his heart? David was a man of good actions and bad actions. Which do we remember him for? His adultery with Bathsheba was sensational but so what his killing of Goliath.
For me it is his psalms. For me they show the heart of the man. Not only his heart for God, but the heart he showed God. As trite as it sounds, he bared his soul. And we have the evidence in print. In blood, in tears, in anger, in passion, in truth.
That is the man I choose to remember…the snapshot I choose to keep….
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
A Little Love In Your Heart?
I have a confession to make. I do not like Paul.
Let me re-phrase that. I did not like Paul, but he is growing on me.
In the lectionary, we have been studying the 5th and 6th chapters of Paul’s letters to the church in Corinth. And I have to admit, Paul has convinced me.
Of what, you may ask?
Of the fact that he is not the boastful, arrogant, self aggrandizing man I thought he was.
Now Paul is pretty black and white, where I am not.. But I can give him that, living in the time and climate of the day. The Body of Christ consisted of a fledgling band of believers, following a crucified messiah and whose leaders consisted of former fishermen, a zealot, a tax collector, and other less than stellar folks. And Paul was not working within that mainstream. He was in the outskirts, preaching and teaching to the learned and not so learned Gentiles. People who had never embraced the Jewish faith from which Christianity had drawn its roots. They were pagans, atheists, magicians, harlots, merchants, and everyday folk that were being asked to join a group that was more times than not being persecuted for its beliefs.
Give the guy a break, you say?
This week, I did just that. I got a peek at the man behind the boast. And believe it or not, I liked what I saw. In Corinthians 6, Paul is talking to the concern he has that the church there no longer carries the affection they once had for him. He starts out telling them of what he and “his” have done in the name of Christ. Imprisonment, beatings, floggings, near drowning. He then goes on to tell them how they persevered and endured much with integrity and purity, for the sake of bringing the gospel to the Corinthian church. But not on their own – he does not take the credit. God was with them, helping them to speak, to work, and giving them the right and left hand weapons to do it. And in spite of this, there were still many that would call them imposters, ingenuous, and trifling. Between you and me, I think he was speaking to his audience...
And the grand finale!
In light of all that, can’t you find room in your heart for me. Paul is not asking for the whole heart, just a small corner. It was as if he was asking me the same question. Can you not find a little affection for me? The scriptures you found in my teachings as a young wife and mother. The ones you memorized by heart, speaking and praying them in times of trouble. Can you not find kindness for me in light of the encouragement I gave you when you were being so hard on yourself. For making wrong choices or failing to live up to what God would have you to be. When you realized how I must have agonized after the Damascus road experience, laying there for 3 days. Blindness a meager blight compared to the pain I felt in my heart for those I had wrongly accused and brought to their deaths. How impressed you were that I did not bemoan my failings, though great, but turned my prior passion against Christ to passion for Him and those He loves. Thanking me for the realization that if I could pick myself up after so great a transgression, surely you could forgive yourself and start anew.
And you know what? I do have room for old Paul!
I have a place for this man who loved God with his whole heart. And I promise, to dig deeper. To read the writings and stories of him and others in the Bible with a grain of salt. To not allow scripture passages that are hard or difficult to scare me away, but to draw close and allow God to remove those scales from the eyes of my heart. To realize there is much in life that I must grow to understand and love.
Praise God for discomfort!
Let me re-phrase that. I did not like Paul, but he is growing on me.
In the lectionary, we have been studying the 5th and 6th chapters of Paul’s letters to the church in Corinth. And I have to admit, Paul has convinced me.
Of what, you may ask?
Of the fact that he is not the boastful, arrogant, self aggrandizing man I thought he was.
Now Paul is pretty black and white, where I am not.. But I can give him that, living in the time and climate of the day. The Body of Christ consisted of a fledgling band of believers, following a crucified messiah and whose leaders consisted of former fishermen, a zealot, a tax collector, and other less than stellar folks. And Paul was not working within that mainstream. He was in the outskirts, preaching and teaching to the learned and not so learned Gentiles. People who had never embraced the Jewish faith from which Christianity had drawn its roots. They were pagans, atheists, magicians, harlots, merchants, and everyday folk that were being asked to join a group that was more times than not being persecuted for its beliefs.
Give the guy a break, you say?
This week, I did just that. I got a peek at the man behind the boast. And believe it or not, I liked what I saw. In Corinthians 6, Paul is talking to the concern he has that the church there no longer carries the affection they once had for him. He starts out telling them of what he and “his” have done in the name of Christ. Imprisonment, beatings, floggings, near drowning. He then goes on to tell them how they persevered and endured much with integrity and purity, for the sake of bringing the gospel to the Corinthian church. But not on their own – he does not take the credit. God was with them, helping them to speak, to work, and giving them the right and left hand weapons to do it. And in spite of this, there were still many that would call them imposters, ingenuous, and trifling. Between you and me, I think he was speaking to his audience...
And the grand finale!
In light of all that, can’t you find room in your heart for me. Paul is not asking for the whole heart, just a small corner. It was as if he was asking me the same question. Can you not find a little affection for me? The scriptures you found in my teachings as a young wife and mother. The ones you memorized by heart, speaking and praying them in times of trouble. Can you not find kindness for me in light of the encouragement I gave you when you were being so hard on yourself. For making wrong choices or failing to live up to what God would have you to be. When you realized how I must have agonized after the Damascus road experience, laying there for 3 days. Blindness a meager blight compared to the pain I felt in my heart for those I had wrongly accused and brought to their deaths. How impressed you were that I did not bemoan my failings, though great, but turned my prior passion against Christ to passion for Him and those He loves. Thanking me for the realization that if I could pick myself up after so great a transgression, surely you could forgive yourself and start anew.
And you know what? I do have room for old Paul!
I have a place for this man who loved God with his whole heart. And I promise, to dig deeper. To read the writings and stories of him and others in the Bible with a grain of salt. To not allow scripture passages that are hard or difficult to scare me away, but to draw close and allow God to remove those scales from the eyes of my heart. To realize there is much in life that I must grow to understand and love.
Praise God for discomfort!
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Aroma for Christ
The Bible is ageless. I don’t mean it has been around for 1000’s of years, though it has. I mean it appeals to all ages. When I was a child, I loved to hear the stories of children. Young David and his bravery in going up against the giant, Goliath. Samuel, in hearing the voice of God and being chosen to be his prophet. As a young woman, I read about the boldness of Ruth, the industry of Martha, and the mindless devotion of her sister, Mary. As a more mature woman, I am drawn to the Hannah’s and Sarah’s. To think of such faith and hope in the light of such insurmountable obstacles. Funny how my perspective has changed.The story of Ruth and Naomi is a good example. I have always loved the love story of not only Ruth and Boaz, but the story of the love of Ruth for Naomi. Whither thou goest, I will go. How many times did I hear that verse at weddings as a young girl. But as I read the first chapter of Ruth this past week, I saw the words in a different light. I could not help but wonder, what was there about Naomi that caused Ruth to leave home and family to follow someone who physically had less than nothing to offer? Widows in that day and age were very vulnerable. Widows with no sons were especially vulnerable. Widows with daughters had their problems multiplied. So why did Ruth not only beg to accompany Naomi into a difficult and hopeless situation, but even swore an oath of death if she could not? I think Ruth saw something in Naomi that went beyond reason.
Even as Naomi tries to dissuade Ruth, bemoaning her estate, even using an Old Testament version of tough love, Ruth is not put off. What was there about Naomi? I have not been in Naomi’s situation, but I have been through difficult times. Times when I felt I had barely enough to keep my head above water, much less minister or provide for others. I had no time, no advice, no resources to offer others, as I was accustomed to doing. I could see no reason anyone would want to come around, I was of little or no use! I even drew apart physically and emotionally. But like Ruth, others were not deterred. Though I had nothing to offer, others drew near to me. Even more, they ministered to me.
What was there about Naomi that drew Ruth by her side and to her aid. What urged her to follow Naomi to a new and foreign land. Full of fear and little hope. It says in 2 Corinthians that
“we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing”.
Perhaps that was the answer. No matter what Naomi had or did not have, she had the aroma that comes from being a follower of the living God. There was something there that pervaded even Naomi’s own demeanor and actions. I think many times we see ourselves as “useful” only when we are doing something for God. If we are able to give, to do, to minister, then we are Christ-like. But when adversity hits or we experience tough times, we feel we are out of commission. We even tend to pull back from our church community, embarrassed or ashamed that we can no longer be what we once were.
This will be a hard lesson for me to learn. Just as I am struggling with the effects and changes going on inside my body as I age, I must realize my use in God’s kingdom may change, bringing with it different opportunities. And knowing me, I am afraid “I will not go gently into that good night”. My humanity will see it as my inability not the ability God has saved just for this time in my life.
It’s going to be a bumpy road for sure! LOL!
Saturday, May 26, 2012
On a Teeter Totter with Christ
Why is it the closer we draw to God, the further we want to draw away from the world. I think this is why we have those folks that cloister themselves into a life of spiritual purity and ascetism. Denying all the world has to offer – good and bad.
Others choose a life of piety. But in doing so, they cannot resist viewing the world from this new perch. With growing disdain and condemnation, they are free with their advice and condemnation.
But, unlike Christ, we are not fully human and fully divine. We have this 50/50 arrangement. As a Christian, I have Christ dwelling within. I think, in my own mind, I have seen it as a struggle. As if I had to beat the human part of me into submission to Him. Or maybe, I pictured myself as living in a house with Him.
I want to see myself as moving out of the master bedroom, taking the smaller bedroom. My dream one day to move to the broom closet, giving Christ full reign of my life. But now, I see, that is not what He desires.
As much as I would love to wrap myself in scripture, meditation and immerse myself in Him, He knows that my address is still terra firma. He moved in to live with me, the human me. He wants to share my life. He wants to have lively discussions of His Word. He wants to view the sunsets and sunrises. He wants to struggle with the stress and strain. He wants to revel in the world He and His Father so carefully fashioned as my residence. He wants to be my roommate. Lord of my life, yes, but also the Love of my life. Maybe until I can love the “me” in me as much as He does, can I truly know how to live in and love in this co-ed arrangement.
It is a balance I am looking for. Child that I am, I want to teeter totter with Christ. He does not want to sit alone, nor I. There is no fun in that. It is only when we both get on, taking turns, that we can soar. And that is where the joy comes.
For until I love me, can I love you. Until I see me through His eyes, can I see you through mine.
Wow!
Others choose a life of piety. But in doing so, they cannot resist viewing the world from this new perch. With growing disdain and condemnation, they are free with their advice and condemnation.
But, unlike Christ, we are not fully human and fully divine. We have this 50/50 arrangement. As a Christian, I have Christ dwelling within. I think, in my own mind, I have seen it as a struggle. As if I had to beat the human part of me into submission to Him. Or maybe, I pictured myself as living in a house with Him.
I want to see myself as moving out of the master bedroom, taking the smaller bedroom. My dream one day to move to the broom closet, giving Christ full reign of my life. But now, I see, that is not what He desires.
As much as I would love to wrap myself in scripture, meditation and immerse myself in Him, He knows that my address is still terra firma. He moved in to live with me, the human me. He wants to share my life. He wants to have lively discussions of His Word. He wants to view the sunsets and sunrises. He wants to struggle with the stress and strain. He wants to revel in the world He and His Father so carefully fashioned as my residence. He wants to be my roommate. Lord of my life, yes, but also the Love of my life. Maybe until I can love the “me” in me as much as He does, can I truly know how to live in and love in this co-ed arrangement.
It is a balance I am looking for. Child that I am, I want to teeter totter with Christ. He does not want to sit alone, nor I. There is no fun in that. It is only when we both get on, taking turns, that we can soar. And that is where the joy comes.
For until I love me, can I love you. Until I see me through His eyes, can I see you through mine.
Wow!
Sunday, May 6, 2012
The Finger of God
My husband was very ill for about a year and required home nursing, three times a week. One of the nurses we had was a wonderful lady who had converted from the Episcopal faith to Buddhism. I am ever thankful for that year of getting to know her and what I learned not only about her faith but the beautiful spiritual discipline of meditation. One day as I sat beside her working, I am not sure even now how it happened, our conversation drifted to why she had converted. She said that she just came to a point where she could no longer believe in a God that would crucify His Son so that He might be reconciled with His creation. I will never forget that explanation and the questions it raised for me.
In the scripture reading for this Sunday in 1 John 4:7-21, that question is again broached and answered, in what I feel, is the only way it can be. God is love, not hate. He did not murder His Son, He sacrificed His Son for us. As I read those words, I thought of Micheangelo’s Creation of Adam, the beautiful painting found on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, and the isolated portion of the painting so often reproduced. The arms and hands of God and Adam reaching out to touch. In this case, though, I saw my arm, my finger poised toward God’s. As I struggled toward God, I suddenly felt a hand on my wrist. Looking up I saw it was Christ helping me to reach Him. Just before He guided my finger to His Father’s, Christ placed my finger into the nail rent of His other hand. I was shocked and I wanted to pull back, but He continued to guide me to God and the Father and I touched through that gruesome wound. Isn’t that just awful? But isn’t it so terribly powerful!
In the beginning, God initiatated the sacrificial system with Abraham, even to the point that He instructed Abraham to sacrifice his only living son on an altar in an act of worship. Of course, God stopped him before that happened, but the foreshadowing was powerful. This system of worship was common to the peoples of that time, even child sacrifice, and He continued to use that as the venue for Abraham’s worship of Him, using various animals. Throughout the history of the Jewish people, this type of worship was instituted and followed. Then when Jesus came to the point where He would make the supreme sacrifice, God’s only Son went as a lamb to the slaughter. His demeanor before Pilate was the best picture He could possibly give us of that sacrificial lamb. Then to be executed by the current Roman means of punishing criminals for their sins, was like putting one of those strobe lighted arrows to the glaring fact that He died for OUR SINS!!! Wow!
But back to my visual. As I sat there dumbstruck of the very means Christ used to join me to God, I looked up at His face. But it was no longer Jesus I saw, but the face of Michangelo’s God. And in that face of God I saw the most unbelievable mixture of love and pain. Tears coursing down His face as He looked into my eyes. And a tinge of hope, hope that I would understand just how very much He loves me.
I hope I never forget that feeling. I hope I never forget that face. I hope that in my heart of hearts, I spend the rest of my life not trying be worthy of it or earn it– that would be the greatest waste of my time - but to feel it, and glory in it, and live through it. To reach out to my brothers and sisters in my own feeble way.
I wish I could see that nurse again. In light of the gift she gave our family, I would thank her again, from my heart, for the wonderful care she gave my husband. In light of the gift she gave me in that explanation, I would thank her for that question. Then I would try, somehow, with the very limits of my language to express that God did not crucify His Son. Love did! Love did and hopefully it is doing the same each and every day in my life and the lives of those I call my family in Christ.
In the scripture reading for this Sunday in 1 John 4:7-21, that question is again broached and answered, in what I feel, is the only way it can be. God is love, not hate. He did not murder His Son, He sacrificed His Son for us. As I read those words, I thought of Micheangelo’s Creation of Adam, the beautiful painting found on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, and the isolated portion of the painting so often reproduced. The arms and hands of God and Adam reaching out to touch. In this case, though, I saw my arm, my finger poised toward God’s. As I struggled toward God, I suddenly felt a hand on my wrist. Looking up I saw it was Christ helping me to reach Him. Just before He guided my finger to His Father’s, Christ placed my finger into the nail rent of His other hand. I was shocked and I wanted to pull back, but He continued to guide me to God and the Father and I touched through that gruesome wound. Isn’t that just awful? But isn’t it so terribly powerful!
In the beginning, God initiatated the sacrificial system with Abraham, even to the point that He instructed Abraham to sacrifice his only living son on an altar in an act of worship. Of course, God stopped him before that happened, but the foreshadowing was powerful. This system of worship was common to the peoples of that time, even child sacrifice, and He continued to use that as the venue for Abraham’s worship of Him, using various animals. Throughout the history of the Jewish people, this type of worship was instituted and followed. Then when Jesus came to the point where He would make the supreme sacrifice, God’s only Son went as a lamb to the slaughter. His demeanor before Pilate was the best picture He could possibly give us of that sacrificial lamb. Then to be executed by the current Roman means of punishing criminals for their sins, was like putting one of those strobe lighted arrows to the glaring fact that He died for OUR SINS!!! Wow!
But back to my visual. As I sat there dumbstruck of the very means Christ used to join me to God, I looked up at His face. But it was no longer Jesus I saw, but the face of Michangelo’s God. And in that face of God I saw the most unbelievable mixture of love and pain. Tears coursing down His face as He looked into my eyes. And a tinge of hope, hope that I would understand just how very much He loves me.
I hope I never forget that feeling. I hope I never forget that face. I hope that in my heart of hearts, I spend the rest of my life not trying be worthy of it or earn it– that would be the greatest waste of my time - but to feel it, and glory in it, and live through it. To reach out to my brothers and sisters in my own feeble way.
I wish I could see that nurse again. In light of the gift she gave our family, I would thank her again, from my heart, for the wonderful care she gave my husband. In light of the gift she gave me in that explanation, I would thank her for that question. Then I would try, somehow, with the very limits of my language to express that God did not crucify His Son. Love did! Love did and hopefully it is doing the same each and every day in my life and the lives of those I call my family in Christ.
Friday, May 4, 2012
Not Everyone Is a Rocket Scientist!
One of my favorite shows is the Big Bang Theory. I love it because it laughs at itself and enjoys doing it. I think we go through life seeing everyone one dimensionally. I think therefore I am. Well, it is more like I think therefore I think you think the same way I do. Well, folks, not everyone is a rocket scientist. Not everyone is a moron. And believe it or not, not everyone is you.
We know by basic scientific knowledge, that there are levels of human intelligence. Likewise, there are levels of human physical and mental capabilities. Add heredity and nurture and then throw in our cultural and ethnic differences and we might as well be all walking aliens.
What I am getting at, is why do we get frustrated with folks when they cannot comprehend or behave as I do. Why do I view them in light of what I know, what I have experienced, or what I perceive. How silly of me and what a terrible waste of my emotions to vent about persons or situations beyond their scope or area of credence.
Now, what about our faith. Why is it we find ourselves clucking our tongues and shaking our heads over a world that is gone to the dogs. As a spirit filled, Christ centered, child of God I see the world in one way. But a person who does not have the center, that has never experienced the overwhelming, grace endowing, burst at the seams love of a God who values them above His only Son, how can they possible think, act, and react like I do. They cannot! And my grousing and complaining and blaming is a total waste of the time God has allotted me on this earth. If I ever want to make my world a better place, I better get in the habit of spreading His love around. Of sharing heavenly glimpses of hope and joy and grace to a world needing it like a parched ground.
Shut up and show off – that is my new motto!
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